Belief
It doesn't happen very often that I lose my faith in him. I am the kind of person who finds magic and love anywhere in the world. I would talk to the tall trees and listen to them talking to each other about passing people. Those beautiful old roads would tell me all the stories they have witnessed. I would feel his presence in every breath of fresh air around me. I would feel him in the innocent eyes of that baby and every bit of warmth I feel when I am around my loved ones. Could anyone else have created such beautiful things around me but the divinity, God himself?
Yet I lost all belief that day when I was shattered from within and broken into pieces when I lost the love of my life(My husband). In spite of knowing that death is inevitable and the scariest truth of life, I blamed him for everything. I kept asking him why did he have to take him away so soon! why did he have to put me through these difficult times? , why did he have to take away my happiness and forced me into this dark, deserted path in my life? Did he not care about me at all, was I being a fool who had trusted him all this while? Did I do something wrong somewhere? Is this his way of punishing me?
My fifteen-year-old son startled me when he came running towards me as I was working at my desk on a few important things for the small business I built for myself over the past years. I suppose it was only possible when I had no other option except to be strong and take responsibility for myself and my child after my husband had passed away. Maybe this was God’s plan all along! Maybe he wanted to show me my true potential. Maybe he wanted me to learn these things the hard way!
So I believe now that God has his way of planning our lives. It's just a bit different from the plan we have for ourselves.
Anindita Rath
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