and just like that, in a week that finally felt a little slower… the new year arrived.

don’t we always look forward to a new year?
have you ever really stopped and asked yourself — why?

i’ve been asking myself that a lot this week.
maybe because there’s this quiet feeling of newness in the air.

do we really love beginnings?
or do we just like the idea of leaving old worries behind?

are we excited for what’s coming?
or just tired of the stress, the anxiety, the restlessness, the sleepless nights — and wishing we could leave them in another year forever?

for me, the words “new year” bring a tiny spark of hope.
a soft assurance that i still have time. that i still get to try again. it reminds me that somehow, even through everything that broke my peace last year… i’m still here. i’m still breathing. and that’s not nothing.

last year was heavy for so many of us.
so much happened in the world, and in our own quiet lives.
and somewhere in between, all we could really do was pause…
and whisper to ourselves — okay, it’s a new day. i’m still here.

i’ve asked myself so many questions lately, like:

where do i even go from here?
what am i looking forward to today?
is what i’m doing enough?
am i enough?

having big expectations from yourself and then feeling like you failed your own standards
that’s a cycle I fall into A LOT
and honestly… I don’t think I’m alone, isn’t that right?

so yes. beginning sounds beautiful right now.
beginning feels like letting a little fresh air into a room that was closed for too long.

but sometimes i wonder… is this really the start of something?
or am i just romanticizing the idea of “new”?

(see? still overthinking and still questioning myself😅)

maybe beginning doesn’t mean changing your whole life.
maybe it just means turning one page.
not throwing the book away.

and then there’s becoming.

becoming sounds a bit heavier.
like change. like movement. like unknown territory.

and honestly?
i don’t fully know what i’ll become.

but maybe becoming
a little less hard on myself,
a little less lazy,
a little more present
is enough for now.

sometimes i dream big too.
sometimes i want to feel as wide and free as the sky.
and sometimes i just want to get through the day peacefully.

both versions of me are real.

for now, i’ll just keep trying.
trying to care.
trying to stay open.
trying to keep showing up for myself gently.

and then there is being.

being feels like floating through the world quietly
watching
listening
learning
not rushing myself to become someone else
not performing
just… existing
softly.

and maybe ,
Maybe being is enough.

maybe this year isn’t about fixing myself
or proving anything
or becoming a brand-new person.

maybe it’s about

beginning when i’m ready
becoming slowly
and allowing myself to simply be.

and if you’re somewhere in that space too —
i hope you’re kind to yourself this year.
we’re all figuring it out. slowly. gently. honestly.

Anindita Rath
@scrambledwriter

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